Introduction

I will go ahead and copy and paste the text from the “about” page to start things off:

This is a blog analyzing topics including, but not limited to,  pornography, prostitution, and sexism in the media. It features in-depth critiques as well as compilations of anecdotes on various types of misogyny. There will be graphic descriptions of sexual acts that some may find disturbing. The entire site has a trigger warning, but I will still include one at the beginning of posts when necessary, as a reminder. Comments from gay, bisexual, and heterosexual men who would like to speak of sexual abuse they suffered at the hands of men and how this changed their understanding of patriarchy are welcome, but do not expect these to take precedence over women’s experiences. This is a feminist space, and the female perspective is the most important here..

This is NOT a place where it is okay to turn discussions about the oppression of women into discussions about the oppression of men. “Debate” tactics such as, “but men also have problems” and “that’s a generalization” are not welcome. Refute the point or don’t, but do not skirt around the issue. (That goes for everyone, women included)

All women are invited to share their opinions, but if you are a man, you should have an understanding of the basics of feminism before you participate. Finally Feminism 101, which you can find in a link to on the right, would be a fantastic place to start. Most of your questions about feminist terminology and concepts will be answered there and it will save everyone involved a lot of effort if you take the time to go through that site.

If your comment is not posted, it’s because you are being an asshole, not because you hold an opposing viewpoint. I welcome thoughtful debate. As the inevitable stupid comments roll in, I will post examples of the kind of stuff that will not be approved.  Changes to the comment policy will be added as needed. If you would like to link to this blog, by all means, go ahead!

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15 responses to “Introduction

  • lizor

    So happy to see this new blog and the very clear guidelines!

    I’ll be waiting for your posts!

    • No Sugarcoating

      Thanks. The first real post will be about how economic and social (abuse, drugs, mental illness, etc.) factors influence women going into porn/prostitution and how this discredits the narrative of “choice”. I know it’s inevitable that posts critiquing the actual industry and content of pornography will receive a barrage of those kind of comments, so this will be where they are directed when they need to understand why we are rolling our eyes dramatically at them.

  • Meghan Murphy

    Looking forward to your posts!!
    Thanks for all your excellent support and commentary over on my blog 🙂
    Meghan

  • Lori Adorable

    Are any actual sex workers going to be writing for this blog?

    Because, um, hello. *waves* I’m an abuse survivor and I have Depression, and I do porn. And I don’t appreciate people talking *about* me as if I can’t speak for myself. How about listening to me and women like me?

    • No Sugarcoating

      Actually, “the other side” refers to women who interact with men who use pornography, not the women in the porn industry. Of course I think the injustices and abuse rife in the industry against the actresses are important, and it will be discussed, but the reason I became anti-porn was because I think porn negatively impacts women – globally. Porn debates (pro or anti) often focus on problems in the production of pornography, but I think the results are what we should be concerned about. I believe there are actresses that have had great experiences, but that doesn’t negate the harm the industry does to women overall.

      • Lori Adorable

        “Actually, “the other side” refers to women who interact with men who use pornography, not the women in the porn industry”
        You realize I also interact with men who use pornography, yes?

        “Of course I think the injustices and abuse rife in the industry against the actresses are important, and it will be discussed”
        Great. And what about the parts of the industry that sometimes work? Not important?

        “I became anti-porn was because I think porn negatively impacts women – globally. ”
        I’d be interested to know how, for example, Comstock films does that.

      • No Sugarcoating

        “You realize I also interact with men who use pornography, yes?”
        I think you know I’m talking about women who do not choose to act in pornography, many of whom don’t even look at any sub-genre of porn themselves. Pro-porn folks far too often act as if these women are irrelevant to the conversation.

        “Great. And what about the parts of the industry that sometimes work? Not important?”
        The few parts of the industry that “sometimes work” are obviously not going to be as important to social activists as the big picture of exploitation and abuse. What is the point of bringing that up? There are some good parts too, so don’t focus on the bad? “Sometimes work” is just not good enough.

        “I’d be interested to know how, for example, Comstock films does that.”
        Porn, as an industry, as a whole, harms women globally. A handful of websites can’t negate that. Comstock is not a mainstream website, and half of its features aren’t even heterosexual couples. They have a grand total of seven films. No misogynistic or repressive language (nasty, slut, etc.) is used and the sex does not include anything commonly seen as degrading. Commendably, the content is something that could appeal to the average Jane. Unfortunately, it’s not something that appeals to the average heterosexual man, and we both know that. What impact does Comstock have compared to sites like Brazzers, which millions of men watch? Your example is a drop in the ocean. Anti-porn feminists would be wasting their time focusing on sites like these.

      • Lori Adorable

        “I think you know I’m talking about women who do not choose to act in pornography, many of whom don’t even look at any sub-genre of porn themselves. Pro-porn folks far too often act as if these women are irrelevant to the conversation.”
        I didn’t know that, actually. I’m wondering why I’m being considered irrelevant to this conversation. But then, I’m considered irrelevant in every anti-porn conversation, which would be funny if it weren’t depressing.

        “The few parts of the industry that “sometimes work” are obviously not going to be as important to social activists as the big picture of exploitation and abuse. What is the point of bringing that up? There are some good parts too, so don’t focus on the bad? ”
        It’s important because porn performers and producers are all painted with one big negative brushstroke. We are incredibly stigmatized, even when we do things right, because apparently it’s only the negative that counts. I agree that abuses need to be the focus, but they cannot be the only thing acknowledged if we want to de-stigmatize sex work. Of course, for all I know, you don’t want to de-stigmatize sex work. You may not give a shit about sex workers at all, because we’re apparently in a different category from ‘regular women.’

        “Porn, as an industry, as a whole, harms women globally. A handful of websites can’t negate that. ”
        Except that including Comstock films and so many other progressive production companies in your ‘whole’ harms US by stigmatizing us as ‘bad for women.’ Give us some fucking credit where it’s due and don’t dismiss us as a ‘drop in the ocean’ and then subsume us in your negative ‘whole.’ Be specific in your critiques and don’t erase us.

        ” No misogynistic or repressive language (nasty, slut, etc.) is used and the sex does not include anything commonly seen as degrading.”
        Oh good, I was wondering when consensual kink would be brought in and denigrated. God knows we kinksters aren’t shamed enough either.

      • No Sugarcoating

        I never said you were irrelevant. Why would I even be talking to you if I wasn’t interested in your opinion and experiences? I never said I don’t give a shit about sex workers. I may not be a big fan of the sex industry, but I sure give more of a shit about the women in it than the male consumers. Of course, for all I know, you might think they’re stand up feminist allies. It’s a stretch, but certainly not any more than your accusation.

        “Oh good, I was wondering when consensual kink would be brought in and denigrated. God knows we kinksters aren’t shamed enough either.”
        This isn’t about you. Stop making it about you. I wasn’t even talking about BDSM….

      • Lori Adorable

        Having a conversation is not the same as *listening* and, actually, it is very much about me.

      • No Sugarcoating

        Um, excuse me? If you don’t want to have a conversation, why are you here? This is my blog, and you know I disagree with you, and you expect me to do what exactly? It’s completely unreasonable to expect people to agree with you just for the sake of “listening”. You haven’t expressed an ounce of concern, empathy, or interest in how porn hurts many womens’ lives. This blog is not even about me. and yet you come here, expecting me to tailor every word for you personally. If we were having a conversation about the working conditions of a porn shoot, it would be appropriate for you to demand that people listen. However, you are no more qualified to speak about, for example, how women are pressured and coerced into sex lifted straight out of porn, than I am, and thus your voice will not be prioritized here. I don’t argue against porn to “save” you or any other woman who does not need “saving”. I argue against it for women who never signed up for this shit, and the women that wish they didn’t. When a 14 year old girl comes crying to me because she thinks she has to have anal sex or her boyfriend will cheat on her, I could care less about progressive queer porn or how awesome it is shooting for kink.com. This space is not about you. Deal with it.

    • No Sugarcoating

      Oh and to actually answer your question, I’m not sure if I’ll have guest bloggers, but if you check out my links, you’ll find Rebecca Mott. She is an exited prostituted woman and you can read about her experiences and how that affects her understanding of porn. Big trigger warning of course.

      • Lori Adorable

        She was prostituted? As in, she didn’t choose to become a prostitute, but someone else chose for her? That’s not sex work; that’s sex abuse.

      • No Sugarcoating

        From what I understand, she initially “chose” to be a prostitute, but she was driven to it because of sexual abuse as a child. If you want to know more, don’t ask me, read her blog.

      • Lori Adorable

        Well I’m sorry to hear that she did not choose of her free will. I, however, was also abused as a child, and I find sex work healing. There are a wide variety of sex workers with a wide variety of views, and they’re all valid.

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